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It Was Just Time

Author: Jennifer Reyes, 03/03

I hope my story can help others who have lost someone who has passed at an early age...

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I had always thought that losing someone I loved would be easy to deal with. That was until my cousin died in a senseless car wreck at the age of twenty. We always thought that nothing like this could happen to our family... that we were lucky and somehow slipped through the eyes of death. But when it happened it didn't seem real... almost like a dream.

When I heard what happened I froze. My mind went into a daze and I felt like I had died. All I heard was Jafus, wreck, and died. It was shocking. I just kept on thinking about him. I couldn't stop blaming the world, and asking God why.

I had talked to him three weeks before he died and he was asking me - if he died... if I would go to his funeral. He also wondered who would go to his. But I told him that I would go - and I did.

I was in Los Angeles when this happened. And I drove all the way to Texas to see him. When I got home everyone had a sad look on their faces. They were trying to be happy, but you could tell the pain was real - and that they were still in shock over his sudden death.When I got to the funeral home there was his casket. I was not crying. I just sat down and waited for them to open it. When they did it did not look like him one bit. Which made it not as sad, because it felt like we were at someone else's funeral.

The thing that made it sad was when they put a picture of him on the casket. That's what made everyone sad. His Mother was in a daze and you could tell she was in so much pain. When the funeral was over we all went home and everyone was upset on how the funeral was. It was one of the worst I had ever been to and the whole situation could of been avoided if the funeral directors had a bit of sympathy for our family. But we made it through that by saying that Jafus would of said not to worry about it.

We miss him so much and everyday is a challenge to slowly get over his passing. It still feels like its not real and that one day he will come home. Although his life here was short we will always remember him for the person he was and how he made us feel good whenever he came around. That is one thing that keeps us alive is knowing that he would not have us still sad about what happened. We know he would want us to be happy and to not take his death in vain.

The memory of his great personality keeps me on track. I miss him terribly, still. But I know that he is around me wherever I go. He will always be missed by the people who loved him. To know him was to love him, and he returned that love unselfishly.

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