Has
a negative circumstance ever entered your otherwise happy
and content world? Whether deed or happenstance, has that
negativity ever left you feeling drained... frustrated...
asking "why me"? And when you felt that way,
did those feelings go unresolved?
The truth
is we humans typically develop avoidance tendencies for
things deemed difficult. As a result, we spend much of
our waking hours consciously and subconsciously trying
not to think about unpleasant things. Instead, at all
costs, we endeavor to avoid ever encountering issues until
forced to confront them.
While this
'see no evil' coping mechanism tends to produce a more
upbeat perspective when things are going well, it provides
no answers during rough times. Further, because so much
cognitive energy is focused on ignoring the existence
of problems, the shock of an occurrence, substantive or
otherwise, can foster the perception of significant impact.
More often than not however, nothing could be farther
from the truth.
The reality
is problems are seldom worthy of the stress they bring
to our lives. Often so much energy is consumed by unproductive
states such as denial, frustration, and self-doubt, that
little remains for proactively addressing the actual problem.
But, what
if problems weren't perceived as such a bad thing? What
if there were a way not only to eliminate the customary
reaction of getting upset - even more, to welcome each
new problem as an opportunity? What if...
Some time
back I experienced a problem in my life. The truth is
I don't recall the particular situation. While addressing
it however, I happened upon a simple, yet empowering,
realization. If my attitude is positive I am immensely
more effective resolving the issue. Thus the question
became - how could I condition myself to have a positive
response in the face of oncoming problems?
First, I reasoned
that negative circumstances are going to happen - whether
I like it or not. Thus, I could either accept that fact
or... actually I just needed to accept that fact. But
although some rain was destined to fall in my life, as
W. Mitchell effectively emphasizes in motivational speeches
- "It's not what happens to you that matters, it's
what you do about it."
Thus, with
acceptance out of the way, I needed to develop an effective
plan of attack for responding to issues. As a result,
'One Step Back Two Steps Forward (OSBTSF)' was born. What's
OSBTSF you ask... Simply put, OSBTSF is the practice of
ensuring that for every significant problem which occurs,
a timely, positive event of greater magnitude is introduced.
In other words, stub your toe, take care of the pain -
then buy a new pair of comfortable shoes... your manager
irritates you, address the issue - then schedule and enjoy
a magnificent vacation day.
Recently at
work for example while diligently multi-tasking on the
PC, I received an error. A minor irritation I thought,
but nothing a good reboot wouldn't take care of... Instead,
one replaced hard disk, days of lost functionality, and
even a sacrificed music CD later - and I was still trying
to recover. Worst as it turned out, a year's worth of
calendar, contact and notes data was deleted.
After controlling
my attitude and getting assistance to regain partial functionality,
I identified my OSBTSF response. Recently I had considered
acquiring one of the multi-functioned PDA's - so I made
the purchase. With one well calculated act I enhanced
my reality from concern with lost data to increased data
security, access and mobility.
Beyond improved
organization, (with reminders notifying me of appointments)
- numerous other benefits include increased access to
music, news, spreadsheets, documents and images. As a
matter of fact, this article is being composed on the
device. I carry less, have fewer data availability issues
and I am considerably more productive during the course
of each day.
Most amazing
is it's unlikely I'd be experiencing these improvements
if my data had not been lost. Because of the application
of OSBTSF, a positive attitude and response yielded a
positive result. Even better, my perspective on subsequent
problems was even easier to manage. This is OSBTSF at
it's finest. Since adopting the philosophy, numerous opportunities
to test the theory have arisen - and thus far OSBTSF has
stood up to each challenge.
Maybe the
road to happiness is simply to accept what's beyond our
control, while positively influencing that which is ours
to change. If so, based on personal experience, the OSBTSF
perspective provides an effective mechanism for accomplishing
this.
With a paradigm
shift and a little commitment, and believe me, you will
likely also sing the praises of the OSBTSF philosophy.
It can begin to make a difference for you... but first
you have to truly want it to.
So, has a
negative circumstance ever left you feeling drained...
frustrated... asking "why me"...
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