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Any Day Now

Author: D Anthony, D-Rose Impressions, 03/99

* Excerpt from the motivational and inspirational book,
The Nurse in the Delivery Room Slapped Me... Once *


Almost all of my life I've had a fear of death. Thinking back on it today I believe more than anything it was the fear of the unknown. It was troubling to me that the destination was uncertain. While grownups preached faith in a better place, I battled with thoughts like… how do they know there's a better place… what if it's like a permanent sleep or state of darkness… what if it was just the end? Somehow I wanted to find a way to live forever.

At a very early age I fought to stay awake at bedtime. I reasoned as long as I was conscious I would, at the least, have a fighting chance. Years later, I remember listening to my church congregation gloriously singing "Count the years as months, count the months as weeks, count the weeks as days - any day now we'll be going home". I thought to myself - are they crazy … what's their hurry … where is the cause for celebration? They couldn't have known the outcome of death any more than I. Didn't they realize faith by definition is rooted in chance?

Over the years, as my feelings matured, I developed an affinity for movies (such as Beaches and Boys To The Side) - sometimes tearfully attempting to prepare for the impact of such a loss. I dedicated my life to living everyday like it was the last - trying to do the right thing and ensuring loved ones always knew I cared. With knowledge the depth of my questions grew however - where does all of this lead to… why are we here… what is the rhyme and reason… where is the fairness of it all?

On January 13, 1997 at 5:00 PM EST, my fear and questions about death ceased. As the last remnants of life dissipated from my mother's body so too went all traces of innocence and doubt. No logic or intelligence could help me cope with the immense crater both in my heart and the pit of my stomach. Only faith saw me through the pain that I could never have imagined. Faith that if I followed in her path - I would see her again.

Two years later, the destination is no longer the focus. My daily concern is retracing the loving and caring life she lived - regardless of what the journey brings. My faith tells me that making the world a little better, as she did, is the only way to ensure I will see her again.

I recently heard a minister tell a story about three young women sitting on a bench pleading with death to give them another chance. Death left - agreeing to give them a warning before he came again. Twenty years later the three women, sitting on the same bench, were approached by death again. Each argued that it wasn't their time - that they had received no warning. Death reminded the first women of a recent surgery that was touch and go for a while and the second woman of a serious car accident a few years ago which she had walked away from. In both cases, Death indicated it was their warning to get their lives in order. The third woman asserted, I'm different - I've had no accidents and no operations. Death responded, remember the first time you squinted to see something, your first gray hair or the first time you didn't spring out of bed in the morning? You're right you are different. I've been giving you warnings every day.

The irony is this life is simply about preparation for the next. Simply put live right, be respectful, and worry about your daily choices. The almighty will take care of the rest…

"Count the years as months, Count the months as weeks, Count the weeks as days - Any day now we'll be going home".

See you soon Mom…




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This article has had a great impact on my life because for years I felt the same way couldn't understand why we had to die, and why were we brought into this world so we could just die. But God created all of us for his purpose and his purpose only, so we need to prepare ourselves for life after death whether it's someone we love dearly or ourselves. We often take life for granted.



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